Parenting is a skill just like being an effective leader. Parents who have been encountering difficulties with their child rearing may want to consider brushing up on their parenting skills.
Parenting Skills Primer: If what you’ve been doing as a parent hasn’t been working for you please don’t blame your child. Children are a bit like a blank canvas is to an artist. If the artist can’t paint she doesn’t blame her canvas for the poor picture. She learns new techniques.
Wise parenting means that you assess what parenting style you are using. If it hasn’t been working you identify what you have been doing wrong and make some changes.
One way to evaluate your parenting skills is to do a parenting skills assessment. You can actually take a simple self-assessment quiz where there are no right or wrong answers but you will learn about your predominant parenting style. To do that you must first be aware of your present parenting style. You can take a free parenting styles quiz at www.parentalquiz.com . The results are not saved or recorded but are sent to you confidentially by email.
Here Are The Parenting Skills To Manage Your Child’s Behavior
To manage your child’s behavior you’ll need to be aware of a few things: 1. Attention. Children crave attention. If they can’t get any positive attention they may do things to get their parents to react even if it is with anger, To children it is better to be yelled at than to be ignored.
2. Setting Boundaries. Children need and actually seek boundaries. To a child having no limits is a very frightening idea. A child actually needs the security of knowing what their routine is and knowing that their parents care enough to set those limits.
3. Children need consistency. When you set up rules you must enforce them consistently without fail. Arguing and negotiating with your children when they misbehave only encourages your child to become a manipulator.
4. Always set and enforce consequences for misbehavior.
5. Notice when your child does something right and praise your child. Children whose parents notice when they do something helpful, for example, are far more likely to want to please their parents in the future.
6. Quality Time. Spend quality time with your children. Children need down time and a time when they can just be themselves without being judged. Make time to play with your children at their level where you are laughing as much as your children. If you aren’t laughing with your children every day you need to loosen up because you’ll be a better parent for it.
Consistent parenting is a skill that can be learned but an easy way to provide your child with consistent consequences for certain behavior is to use a behavior wheel. A behavior wheel spins like a roulette wheel and lands on a consequence. That way, the child cannot blame his parent since the wheel randomly selected his “consequence” for less than admirable behavior.
One of your parenting skill sets is using the behavior wheel software correctly. Here’s how: 1. When your child misbehaves everything must stop and you must take your child to the computer and open the behavior wheel program.
2. Login to the program and permit your child to find his Avatar that displays on the opening screen and click on it. This will bring up your child’s “account”. Each child’s account begins the week with a starting inventory of 100 points. Infractions cause points to be deducted while specially good behavior can earn bonus points. Each child’s goal is to end the week with the most number of points. When there are several siblings participating this can lead to a friendly competition because there can be a special reward or prize to the child who finishes the week with the most points.
3. Once the child’s “account” appears he or she will see how many points are left from the 100 points every child begins each week with. At this time you will discuss what just happened so that your child understands they broke the rules. Select from the list of behaviors that you had pre-loaded into the program. If this is a new type behavior you can add that behavior at this time.
4. When your child click the “SPIN” button and The Code of The Samurai Behavior Wheel spins resulting in sound effects. Children become excited when they are noticed doing something good and are invited to spin the behavior wheel to earn some bonus points.
While there is no substitute for parenting skills many parents will find that mastery of The Code of The Samurai Behavior Wheel will go a long way towards effective parenting. Nevertheless, parents with children who persistently misbehave should consider taking parent effectiveness training or purchasing a parenting skills course.